“I did it!!” 

Today, I watched a little girl jump off the big toy all by herself and I felt like I was watching a monumental moment like someone finishing a marathon. She jumped maybe three feet to the gravel below, which doesn’t seem like a big deal but I can’t even tell you how proud I was.  Now, this girl is quiet and unassertive much like myself and has been coming to our social skills class a couple months. When she first started coming, she would rarely crack even the slightest smile during the whole three hours we had at the school. It would take a good two hours for her to believe that we wanted her there; it just broke my heart.  Anyway, we were on the playground today and the kids were jumping off the big toy and she avoided it, until later when I asked if she wanted to play on it. We got to the ledge where others had been jumping off and I asked if she wanted to and she said no. I asked if she wanted to jump with me and she said no. We stood there looking at the ledge a few moments and she wanted me to jump, so I did. She stood silently for a moment. I asked if she wanted to hold my hand and jump, and she nodded. This whole time I am encouraging her and telling her she can. “You CAN do this.” She decides she can jump down while holding my hand and does with a big smile. Then runs back to the top and says she wants to do it herself. I tell her I’m right here if she needs me and I know she can do it.  She pauses several moments and then jumps and mid air I see a smile ease onto her face.  When she looks up, I see pure joy on her face. A smile that says, “I did it!”  I was so stinkin’ proud of her in that moment. Seeing that sense of pride and accomplishment in a child like her is priceless.  

I think this was more meaningful to me after an exercise I did in one of my classes, a Culture Walk. All of the students stand together on one side of the room and the professor reads a statement and if it is true for you, you walk across the room. Then look to your left and right to see who walked with you and then look across the room to see who stayed. All of this is done in silence. These are statements that will imply social class, economic class etc. 

A couple examples:

-If you grew up in a house with servants, walk across the room.

-If you grew up in a house with more than 50 books in it, walk across the room.

-If you have ever been a victim of violence based on your ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation, walk across the room.

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This whole time, everyone is silently walking back and forth, seeing who grew up under different conditions and who has experienced what and such and the whole thing is incredibly uncomfortable and not pleasant. I was really sad the whole time to tell you the truth. It was hard to think about what I’ve experienced versus what others experienced. All of it was just hard to hear, hard to see. I just sighed throughout the whole exercise and throughout the day and I reflected on it.  The statement that did it for me, “If you were told by your caretakers growing up that you were beautiful, loved and capable, walk across the room” I was standing near the front and immediately started walking across the room and my heart just started pounding as I walked and hoped with all of my being that everyone in the class would walk across the room with me.  I was afraid to turn around.  I turned around to see about eight people of our class of 25 still on the other side of the room. Their parents/guardians had not told them they were beautiful, loved or capable. That killed me. I could have broke down in tears right there.

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Everyone needs to be told they are loved.

Everyone needs to be told they beautiful.

Everyone needs to be told they are capable.  

A child unloved, is a tragedy.  

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This little girl jumping by herself, today, she believes in herself and she is a joyful girl.